On the Hole

            My shrink caught me snagging a hole mid-air
            right there in front slowing down to turn
            and twisting out a tail back out behind me
            pausing to suck in some of my unused space
            so I thought I had enough time to myself
            and it was like catching a fly in flight,
            but my shrink chose that moment to come in
            at least a minute ahead his usual routine
            and he didn't see the hole I'd just caught,
            oh he wouldn't've said he'd seen it anyway
            although he claims to be so expert at it
            and acts like he could find all the holes
            and that's why he does it for his living
            but I see them buzz near him all the time
            like fruit flies at a rotting banana peel
            and never saw him once act like he minded
            so I just figured him to be a hole donor
            and they were all after his unused space,
            but I wasn't about to let them suck on mine
            and besides he's poked as many holes in me
            as any and all of the worst he's taken out,
            then it's three times he has to question me
            before I look down at why I'm making a fist
            so I relax the tension in my fingers a bit
            but keep my hand tight so it won't get away
            and he sits there waiting for me to reply
            while I lose track and count how many more
            holes float by me or settle into his suit
            until something gives a little inside me
            maybe starting from my hand, yeah maybe so,
            so I decide to be a good girl and cooperate
            and besides he wouldn't believe me anyway
            same as nobody but you would ever believe
            so I tell him I'd snagged me a hole mid-air
            in front right there slowing down to crawl
            and twisting itself on back out through me
            while sucking at most all my unused space
            and he acts like he so wants to help me out
            asking me to open my hand and let him see
            so I remind him how silly to act straight
            as if a hole can ever be seen so easily
            and he'd not've let on he'd seen it anyway
            so he took my hand and gently tried to pry
            and I did resist enough for him to work
            but it was too late for both of us anyway,
            the hole had eaten its way free through
            and I could still feel its tail tangled up
            but he only wanted to know of the new scar
            which was all he needed to do his report
            and he decided it was all just a metaphor
            and some other babble he was scribbling at
            but I let the hole suck at my open palm
            as it slipped away from me, as I felt time
            draining into its edges like the last water
            how anymore all the holes smell like you,
            and that hole in my hand that won't leave
            is the empty space keeping time for yours,
            and my shrink asks again is it a metaphor
            because he thinks I want to talk of you
            like it's supposed to be some secret sign
            we shared together about holes lining up
            between us as though connecting worm holes
            from one of our universes into the other
            and back again, not even light getting out
            and he's reading his notes from past weeks
            and counting the holes he thinks he saw,
            so I remind him of the one they carved me
            deep into where I can't reach in my back
            to steal what you'd given without asking,
            but he only wants to do that one his way
            so I hold out my empty hand and say here,
            want the hole I snagged here for my files?
            except it's only a hole left by the hole
            and it's not as bad as the one in my back
            and it's got nothing to do with this scar
            and it's not the one in place of yours
            and it's not even one of his metaphors.


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  • @magewing always and unfailing love thank you ○ 5 years ago
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  • how is it i remember what the word 'intrinsic' means, yet i can't figure out which beliefs are intrinsic to me vs having been read to me? ○ 5 years ago

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